Lyrics

ALL US HEATHENS :

1. SIC THE DOGS
2. TRICK OR TREAT
3. OUTRAGEOUS
4. FALSE GODS
5. DOWN THE RIVER
6. BED AND BREAKFAST
7. THE BEST THING
8. SUITABLE VACATION
9. ALTAR BOY
10. CONSTELLATIONS
11. UNCLE

WORDS OF MASS DESTRUCTION:

1. WHITE MEN/GREY SUITS
2. THE CLONES

SuBLiMaTioN:

1. IN THE WAY
2. TROPICAL
3. CHICAGO
4. PLASTIC BAGS
5. MAN WITH A CAN
6. SCARY
7. YELLOW PAGES
8. LOVER
9. TICKLE MY BEARD
10. CHOW FOR THOUGHT
11. NOW TAKE THIS

ZOZEN:

1. AS LONG AS GRASS GROWS AND WATER RUNS
2. A LITTLE LAMB
3. COMPREHEND
4. MELTED
5. PRIVACY
6. SCARY

SIC THE DOGS
I been priced out of everything
The mechanical voices are calling
They once were encouraging
But not since the Dow started falling

Friendly racists decked out in pink
They offer me whiskey
And I’ve had enough to drink
What do I say?

And I’ve been the wicked son
Today I’m descending the ladder
And I’m not the only one
Does anyone else really matter?

Flight attendants with grandpa breath,
They’re selling me candy
And I don’t have nothing left
Why can’t they see?

Sic the dogs on my slutty receptionist
See she’s been hanging on every word they say
And I can’t take it anymore

Would you walk by my side?
I’d do it for you and you know it
I’ll never be satisfied
But I’ll do my best not to show it

The Mississippi might suck me in
And leave me for nothing
Me, I was born to win
Isn’t that something?

And there was money enough
For the suitcase that my brother flaunted
There was money enough
For the toothpaste that I always wanted
There was money enough
To satisfy my higher calling
There was money enough
For my adversaries to come crawling

Friendly racists decked out in pink
They offer me whiskey
And I’ve had enough to drink
What do I say?

Sic the dogs on my slutty receptionist
See she’s been hanging on every word they say
And I can’t take it anymore

Matt Singer (2006)

top

TRICK OR TREAT
Moving to the pavement and I forgot my hat
Left my brain back in the suburbs don’t know where it’s at
Oh I sure hope that someone doesn’t find out what I done
Someone’s bigger than the son

Moving to the pavement and neither my shoes fit
Like to find my way back to the suburbs all I’ll do is sit
I wish I could tell you that my foster mom is cool
But momma didn’t raise no fool
No momma didn’t raise no fool

I think I see you laughing underneath your pity gaze

When I trick or treat and look in my bags all my candy’s gone
And the only thing they say is that you ain’t seen nothing
When I trick or treat and look in my bags all my candy’s gone
And the only thing they say is that you ain’t seen nothing

Teacher asks me how’d you get there I say I don’t know
Really what’s the point teacher don’t know either
Then teacher says he didn’t vote for Reagan, me neither, me neither
But someone’s gonna find out what I done

Do you understand?
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
Do you understand?

Movin to the pavement, house of cards you made
You say domestic violence at least you’re getting paid
Oh I sure hope that someone doesn’t find out what I done
Someone’s bigger than the son
Someone’s bigger than the son

I still see you laughing underneath your pity gaze

Matt Singer (2006)

top

OUTRAGEOUS
I wanna take (wake) up snorting lines in the men’s room with girlfriends who have boyfriends who think they’re my friends
They’re idiots. So am I, all of us, will join a 12-step program for nymphomaniacal morons who’ll fly to San Fran every weekend to get their whore on in the back of a trolley. And all the time we’ll be swilling the cheap shit, Fresca and Popov, ‘til I get useless and take my top off and show everyone my love handles, and they will too except when they do it’ll be mildly attractive ‘cause they won’t have to be the awkward fat kid, the awkward fat kid, the awkward fat kid.

Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous
Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous

Then me and the 12-steps will use our secret knock on the backdoor of the White house and then convince the hired help to let George’s wife out. We’ll go fishing for pigeons on George’s lawn. Laura’s wearing a Speedo, I’m sporting a thong, then I’ll give her head while she sings twinkle, twinkle little star. And all the time we’ll be swilling the cheap shit, Fresca and Popov, ‘til I get useless and take my top off and show everyone my shoulder hair. But Laura won’t mind ‘cause she’s cool like that and besides I spiked her drink with crystal meth and convinced her to think that her husband should re-consider welfare reform. Really.

Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous
Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous

Bridge
January 7th, 1983: Although he exhibits skills in many areas, Matthew still seems unable to deal with frustration. When presented a task with which he is unfamiliar his typical response is “I can’t,” rather than “I’ll try.” He was referred for testing to determine whether he is unable or simply unwilling to try new things.

Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous
Do you know the story I am telling, it is you, it is me, except we’re outrageous

Matt Singer (2006)

top

FALSE GODS
We won’t kick you off this island no matter what you’ve done
And you won’t find a hidden camera propped behind the sun
We don’t fear mysterious creatures who might tear us all apart
No, the aliens that you’re thinking of have been here from the start

You can break your back for the men who waste your time
You can float around hoping they might throw you a line
Or you can wash up on the shore with all us heathens, we still love you, wash up on the shore

And you can bring your friends

You wish the queens would wear their make-up, the jacks would wear their knives
You know that if they follow suit, the kings might not survive
So you watch your television and you listen to your dad
‘cause with them you know just what you’re getting and your getting mad

And you can bring your
False gods with you, they don’t have to stay behind there’s room enough for everyone
Go ahead and cut your nose off, show us all how right you are, you can spite us all
And you can bring your friends, And you can bring your friends

We won’t kick you off this island, you got too much to give
But under flags and inside fences is not the way we live
As long as it takes for you dinosaurs to come around to sense
We’ll be waiting on the other side of the fence... we’ll be waiting on the other side of your fence

Matt Singer (2006)

top

DOWN THE RIVER
When you sell me down the river they’ll be no one left to blame

Someone on the mountain is looking for my baby
In the quicksand and I’m too late but I sure got a nice shoe shine
Tell the soldiers on the high road if they’re headed in our direction
Stop horsing around, we’ve got glasses to fill

And don’t fail me now, let’s make a pact, and drink together
We can ride this out, I’ve got your back, and I won’t ever… fail you

Put away your camera and your radar and your bible
If you’re searching for the answer, take a good look at your numbers
And momma, please remember to be faithful to your conviction
About the way things should be in this beautiful world

And don’t fail me now, and don’t fail me now
You used to invite yourselves to all our silly games
Now you’ve convinced yourself that everything has changed
But I’m the same and when you sell me down the river they’ll be no one left to blame

Repeat Verse I & Verse II

And don’t fail me now, let’s make a pact, and drink together
We can ride this out, I’ve got your back, and I won’t ever…
Sell you down the river, they’ll be no one left to blame

Matt Singer (2006)

top

BED AND BREAKFAST
Ann made your breakfast, Ann made your bed, Ann made me happy, Now Ann is dead
And Ann said, pollinate me, fill me up, heal my wounds and I will give you what you need

Now all the tourists who were so polite, now all the tourists are up in arms
Animate me, wake me up, break my window, I don’t care it’s only glass

Take what you want, give what you can, give what you can

How are you, did you hit much traffic, make yourself at home

Leave your linens at the door I’ll treat them like my own
You can make me anything you want, pretend I’m gone

Ann’s sick and tired of bed and breakfast, she’s going somewhere else instead
And Ann said, Polinate me, fill me up, heal my wounds and I will give you what you need

Take what you want, give what you can, give what you can

How are you, did you hit much traffic, make yourself at home

Matt Singer (2006)

top

THE BEST THING
Jesus peeped his head inside my shoe
He said dear God how messy, would not expect that from a Jew
And could it be you might believe in me too, I said yes
And Jesus still ain’t told me who I am, but I know that I’m a mess
And it’s the best thing that happened to me

So I invited Jesus over for spring cleaning
Introduced him to my grandpa then we climbed my favorite tree
And he said victory is nothing if not certain
And I said certainty is nothing when I use my creativity

And it’s the best thing that happened to me, could be the next thing to happen to you

Jesus came to me once in a dream
And he said write a song about me and I’ll tell you what it means
And I said, oh merciful lord I don’t believe you
And he said, peace my son and I’ll leave you to your dream
And he said, peace my son and I’ll leave you to your dream
And he said, peace my son and I’ll leave you to your dream
And he said, peace

And it’s the best thing that happened to me, could be the next thing to happen to you

Matt Singer (2006)

top

SUITABLE VACATION
Please pipe down, the flight attendant’s speaking
We’re going down, and both engines are leaking
And I can’t think of anything I’d rather not do than listen to you
So pass the watermelon please

I know you think you got the answer
It goes to show that another fancy dancer
Went and got her beak stuck where she shouldn’t
Fresh out of luck, and she couldn’t even help herself from saying…

This is not a suitable vacation, I thought it perfect for 2
And we were talking about Jersey, Jersey on the left, Jersey on the right
Now Jersey’s on my mind
And we filled out 3 separate applications, I should’ve got the hint
She wanted out of Jersey, It could’ve been a hell of a time
Time out

Dear God, shut up, can’t you see that someone’s talking
Your opinion of Hoboken and Weehawken aren’t exactly moving me to create
And plus from my view, the scenery’s great, so please just keep it bottled up inside
Until your next therapeutic session, you call it rude but I call it discretion
If repression is something we really need to debate, could we just wait until you medicate

But she said it isn’t suitable and I’m down on my knees
And she’s wondering why I’m biting off my cuticle
Baby that’s my steez
But she said right a song about Virginia, baby I never been there
But I’ll get in there and give it a go

Aiyo, chill out yes I’m sportin’ women’s undies, but I ain’t kinky
I just haven’t done laundry in a while
So let’s not begin something I can’t win
If it’s about style, I just assume go dancing

And hey I don’t care if you think you know me
I’ve been through this before with nearly everybody and believe me
I’ve heard much worse allegations

And she said that this is not a suitable vacation
I thought it perfect for two
We were talking about Jersey, Jersey on the left, Jersey on the right
Now jersey’s all we find and we filled out 3 separate applications
Each one in triplicate, just to get out of Jersey, it coulda been a hell of a time

But she said write me a song about Virginia
Baby I never been there but we could talk it over and she said write me
Just one song for the ages so I tore out all the pages and I shove them up her butt
Now I’m feeling much better, yes indeed, I’m feeling better
Oweee, oh so much better, oh so much better, oh so much better
Yo ho, give me back my sweater

Or we’re gonna go back, to Pontius and Jesus, to Romus and Remus
We’re gonna go back, way back I ain’t being facetious
Yeah we’re gonna go back to guns, back to the streets baby back on up
And give me back my keys, we’re gonna go back to the earth
Back before my own birth, back to when I was free

And what’s so wrong with crashing in the sea…

Matt Singer (2006)

top

ALTER BOY
Beauty, my one redeeming quality
Something he said a lot to me
When I looked him in the eye
Shoot me, I say with just a hint of jest
But as the one who loves you best
At least I’ll have to try

In all my ugly dreams about total humiliation
I work behind the scenes and I deserve a long, long, long vacation

Forgive me is all that I could think to say
It didn’t have to be this way
Apologetic fool
And with me I take a small reminder of
A scar you sent from high above
I’m no exception to the rule

And all your hired thugs who pray on our adoration
We take the strongest drugs, surrender to the holy intimidation

Oh my lord, if I’ve gone overboard
If my anger cannot be endured in this religion
I’ll live my way in a constant state of disarray
Don’t concern yourself with how I pray, unforgiven

Communion’s on the dinner plate so kiss me all you want before I go
But I’m gonna dip this one in mayonnaise and you can’t say a thing about it, no
Communion’s on the dinner plate so touch me all you want before I go
But I’m gonna dip this one in mayonnaise and you can’t say a thing about it, no

In all my ugly dreams about total humiliation
I work behind the scenes and I deserve a long, long, long, long life

Oh my lord, if I’ve gone overboard
If my anger cannot be endured in this religion
I’ll live my way in a constant state of disarray

Don’t concern yourself with how I pray, unforgiven

Matt Singer (2006)

top

CONSTELLATIONS
You convinced me to come to the beat of your drum and it’s not like I had a choice
But it’s in my best interest to sit in the back and wait for your soft sweet voice

The lights all go down as our drinks do the same. We forget every song the band played
But you say one more for the unlucky, one more for me, one more for the suckers who payed
Had it been my way, I’d have done it the same all for fun, all for fun

I know all your designs though you pretend to have none and I know others might disagree
But because you’re dramatic doesn’t mean that your false, it means that you’re just like me
And I’m just like you even if you don’t see it that way, that way

You might see constellations in my eyes but they’d just be patterns with out you (repeat)

The first to arrive the last to go home, the next one to step in line
I’ve heard all your ambitions, I’ve seen all your visions and I can’t get enough of your mind, no I can’t get enough of your mind
Had it been my way, I’d have done it the same all for fun, all for fun

You might see constellations in my eyes but they’d just be patterns with out you (repeat)

Matt Singer (2006)

top

UNCLE
Places, everyone, take your appropriate places
You can choose your favorite, so long as you place it on your
Faces, block your sight, erase any significant traces of light
Significant traces, right

Uncle, I would like to kiss my kid goodnight
Without eyes over my shoulder
And uncle would you consent to chocolate after dark
I’ve been so very good, been so very good

Wisdom has no place here, you may renounce your wisdom
Presume you’re in the hands of fools
A fool who breaks the rules he makes when he is certain
Nephew will hurt him

Uncle I’m ready to make love to my wife
Without eyes over my shoulder
And uncle, would you consent to chocolate after dark
She’s been so very good, been so very good

Knock knock knock. Who could it be, sniffing at our door?
Same old goblins from yesterday, but now they’re looking for more.
Knock knock knock, who are you, sniffing at my door?
Sweat and saliva rain down on our sheets
As we try to protect our bedroom floor,
As we try to protect our bedroom floor,
As we try to protect our bedroom.

Uncle, I would like to kiss my kid goodnight
Without eyes over my shoulder
And uncle would you consent to chocolate after dark

I’ve been so very good, been so very good

Matt Singer (2006)

top

WHITE MEN/GREY SUITS
Millions of innocents shouting new world order – Why we aiming at their border if their innocent – What’s that - Guess it’s sort of because we get caught up in flaws and can’t pause because we’re militant – Point One: 100 GIs throw all their guns way up in the sky and say For America We Die – and back home up come the flags of pride but little do they know that the flag just died – Point Two: Same scene different mission – and on the other side they don’t fight for the rights of the white Christian – They might listen they might not but your position that they have a less patriotic vision – You’re pissing up the wrong tree bringing me to Point 3: Like Biggie said Never Trust Nobody – While I don’t take it literally it serves a lesson that those in power federally owe a confession – Between Iraq and 9/11 ain’t no connection so WMD must stand for Dubya Means Deception – And though Sadam and Osama have got the same complexion in common it don’t explain three whole months worth of bombing.

EVER SINCE I WAS A BOY, WHITE MEN IN GREY SUITS SAID KILL KILL KILL UNDER THEIR BREATH – THEY SIT BEHIND A DESK, PROTECT THEIR OWN NECK, THEN THEY SEND SOMEONE ELSE’S KID OFF TO HIS DEATH

First verse was the macro next comes the micro – Take the listener back to when I was a tyke yo – I spent most of my time riding my bike though I didn’t have a clue what the real world was like – I was five years old on a soccer field – Playing GI – Shit I was barely knee high to a cockatiel – Chasing butterflies I didn’t have a care in the world and neither did the other guys – But on the sideline parents were buggin – It’s a fine line between crunch time and losing your mind cousin – Press the rewind button back to Attila the Hun time- Are these adults all oblivious to sunshine – Screaming Take No Prisoners Defending is the Key – But dad a couple years ago I was only three – Besides how aggressive should a child really be – First lesson in the Kill Kill Kill philosophy – Got tripped up Scraped my knee Busted my lip up – White parents saw the culprit and had a collective hiccup – A black kid – Man you should have seen how they reacted – They acted just like it was a stickup

EVER SINCE I WAS A BOY, WHITE MEN IN GREY SUITS SAID KILL KILL KILL UNDER THEIR BREATH – THEY SIT BEHIND A DESK, PROTECT THEIR OWN NECK, THEN THEY SEND SOMEONE ELSE’S KID OFF TO HIS DEATH

Matt Singer (2004)

top

THE CLONES
George Bush spoke last night
While I was at the open mic
But the next day I read everything he said, in the Times
And of the forty thousand six hundred twenty-two words
The only ones that I thought were true and right
Were that: Clones ain’t got no human rights

(Chorus)
But if clones one day do exist
I would ask George only this
That he make a big promise… to you and me, something like…
I, George Dubya vow to find it in my heart somehow
To not wage war… on the clones

‘Cause let’s be flexible for a minute
And imagine a world with a bunch clones in it
Think their favorite food would be spinach? More likely franks and beans.
And would the Number One clone pastime be to go to church and pray,
Or would it be to sit at home and look at porn and eat franks and beans all day.

‘Cause we got standards, but we got no answers
Yeah, we got no answers, but we got standards
The only answer is: We got standards
Well that ain’t no answer… long live the clones

And let’s be sensible for an hour
And realize that some of these clones might even be a little sour
‘Cause they might want a little bit of power, and I think you know what I mean
They might wanna be a C-E-O or a V-I-P or P-R-E-S-I-D-E-N-T
And say F-U-C-K Bush, and you can eat my S-H-I-T

(Chorus)
So if clones one day do exist
I would ask George only this
That he make a big promise… to Donald and Dick, and say
I, George Dubya vow to find it in my heart somehow
To not wage war on the clones

George Bush spoke last night
While I was at the open mic
But the next day I read everything he said four times
And of the forty thousand six hundred twenty-two words
The only ones that I thought were true and right
Were that: Clones ain’t got no human rights, Clones ain’t allowed to fly no kites. Clones shouldn’t be permitted to wear tights. Clones ain’t got no human rights.

Matt Singer (2004)

top

IN THE WAY
Hey daddy, wipe my tears away lets shave out the grey and then sail into the bay together
Sat daddy, these ladies are so catty, am I still you favorite little fatty boy?
Or am I just in the way?

Hey mommy, it’s nearly 10 to 8, I shouldn’t have to wait to find out if we’ll stay up late
Together.
Say mommy, you know my name ain’t Tommy now please get back on my mutherlovin’ side
Oh am I just in the way a slice of pie, then go to Shea
You can do anything but you cannot be anything less, than the best

Bring your leader to me you know I cannot take you seriously with that look on your face
Post haste
Bring your leader to me I’m calling all the shots and there is nothing you can say
Somehow I’m still in the way, hey

Hey bigshot, still don’t know who you are but I’m nursing the same scar
Ever since that I became an all-star
Say sister, you’re growing like a blister in my mind and in my spine
Even though you died a long time ago
Still I’m just in the way. Please say that I’m dreaming, cause this is so demeaning.

And I just need some weaning (did you hear what I said?)…

Hey daddy, wipe my tears away lets shave out the grey and then sail into the bay together
Sat daddy, these ladies are so catty, am I still your favorite little fatty boy?
Or am I a little son of a gun that’s still just in the way? Oye vay
You can do anything but you cannot be anything less

top

TROPICAL
Goldfish Fun Cold dish run
What’s in it’s Head, Just What we Said, Don’t Panic Yet

Tube Top Spills, You Got Skills
What’s in her head, Just what we said, Don’t panic yet

Don’t panic, don’t panic, you’re all alone
Don’t panic, don’t panic, you’re all alone
Don’t panic, don’t panic, you’re all alone

Boy beautiful don’t run, be a dutiful son
What’s in his head, just what we said, don’t panic yet

Don’t panic, don’t panic, you’re all alone
Don’t panic, don’t panic, you’re all alone
Don’t panic, don’t panic, you’re all alone

You’ll be on time, You will be on time, You will be on time
Unless, Until, You panic. Don’t Panic. Yet.

top

CHICAGO
When I was a young boy I watched rocky 4 and I was very afraid of drago
Now that I’m a grownup I ain’t scared no more and I am going to Chicago
Going to Chicago and the wind is at my back
Got a tummy full of hummus and a pocket full of jack
And I ain’t scared of nothing, not even Ivan Drago
I’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

When I was a little dude my rents used to fight and I was deathly afraid of moving
So I turned on the tube and I turned out the loot and that was so incredibly soothing
It used to work then and I know it works now
I don’t ever have to leave unless I’m running out of chow
Now I ain’t scared of nothing, not even Ivan Drago
I’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

(chorus)
Life to me is just like Rocky 4
and Ivan Drago is the fear that tells me I can’t love anymore
Apollo Creed is my heart, knocked out and on the floor

But Rocky Balboa is my spirit horse (repeat)

Back in high school I was jealous like Othello and my very best friend was Iago
So I quit that kid cause I was sick of being yellow And now I’m going to Chicago
Going to Chicago and I got nothing to fear
cause I like to eat potato chips and drink a lotta beer
now I aint scared of nothing not even Iago
I’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

Adrian oh Adrian from this ring you look so radiant
Ain’t no way I’m gonna be afraid again oh Adrian, Adrian
Adrian oh Adrian said you look so goddamn radiant
Ain’t no way I’m going to be afraid again

The summer after freshman year my girlfriend went away
and as she left she said don’t forget me
but 8 weeks later she decided she was gay and she acted like she never even met me
you could call it irony but I just call it crap and 6 years ago I was a big fat sap
now I aint scared of nothing, not even Ivan Drago
I’m all grown up and I’m going to Chicago

(chorus)
+ Rocky is my spirit and Adrian can hear it
It’s loud enough to crush the pain of anybody near it
I’m gonna beat up drago, I’ll do it for Apollo
But I ain’t going to Russia
I’m going to Chicago

top

PLASTIC BAGS
Dirty Jack fell down by the road and there he lay
Never made a whisper to a soul no he gave nothing away
Every now and then Jack would try to raise the eyes
Of anyone who walked right by his side
But after so many times dirty Jack just stayed down and died

And he said I am a plastic bag lying in a pile of other plastic bags
not on bottom not on top. No one sees me or touches me.
No on thinks that much of me. ‘cause I’m a plastic bag. I’m a plastic bag
And who are you. Who are you.

Yuppie Jill sank into her seat most every day
Imagining the people she would meet, when she’d drift away
And in her dreams she had the nerve to tell someone a few kind words
And say lie by my side
But after so many times yuppie Jill just stayed down and died,
Stayed down and died, stayed down and…

Died in her sleep, in her sleep waiting for someone that she might meet
So many times, but now if half the world’s alone,
Then why’s the other half not picking up the phone, pick up the phone and say
Who are you. Who are you.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their way.
Falling to their knees with all their will and there they pray, pray.
Pray for something more than a poetic metaphor or a sweet sounding rhyme.
But after so many times, after so many times, after so many times
Jack and Jill stayed down and died

And they said we are plastic bags lying in piles of other plastic bags
No on bottom not on top, no one sees me or touches me, no one things that much of me
‘cause I’m a plastic bag, I’m a plastic bag. I’m a plastic bag.
And who are you.

top

MAN WITH A CAN
There was a man with a can, he was shaking it
Asked me for some change that’s exactly what I gave to him
Nothing. That’s right, nothing for a change
He thought I was deranged I thought it was strange that he was assuming
That I wasn’t human, he said I had to prove it to him, ripped out my heart
And sprinkled it with cumin. I said oh-num-she-bub, oh-num-she-bub
But it was too late, sealed my fate and put it on a blue plate
Cause it was special that’s what he said you’re heart is special
Even though you are a yuppie and you’re highly artificial
I said man that ain’t right I’m down for the fight, I work in a shelter every day and
Every night and after that I come home and I dedicate a poem to the needy
And curse the pusillanimous and greedy. Yes indeed that’s what I do
He said that may be true but when the revolution comes your ass is going too mutherfucker, but to where but to where but to where but to where but to where
Where am I going?

He said I’m not sure, all I know is that you’re not pure asking silly questions
When you know the answers not more. You can’t take it, so why even try to fake it
You put your back into it and you’re probably gonna break it in half
Now where’s the sense in that. You walk into a death trap without first writing your epitaph. You gotta lotta things to learn so bring your urn
Cause when it rains it pours and when it stings it burns and I said dude okay
Whatever you say but I have no idea what you are trying to convey
And he said I try not I do or do not now think for a minute about everything that you got
And now imagine it gone, the grass on your lawn the gas in your tank
Your cat, dog, dad and your mom and if you think that’s bad well it’s just a sad song
But that song’s my life and I’d like to wax on mutherfucker
Alright man that’s cool with me. Know what I’m saying?
I was just wondering if it’s not too much trouble. Can I get my heart back.

There was a man with a can, he was shaking it
He said I was a man with a plan but half baking it
He thought he was the man with truth in hand and he was speaking it
I thought he was a man afraid to stand and he was freaking it

Well either way the man with a can see in his other hand was plenty of nothing
So I handed him a cranberry muffin, a cup of sanka and he said thank you big fella
But I don’t need that stuff see I can get that at the shelter, now wait a minute
I knew he was my elder but I couldn’t disregard the fact that his weight was welter
So like sister betty said to El Haj Malik, I said before the revolution comes
A brother’s gotta eat and he said what the hell you think I’m begging for ya chintz
But I ask you for a shilling and you offer me a pince. When you see a man illing
Hook him up with a blintz with some hot cheese filling and he might budge an inch
Now I know you’re not a grinch you got the heart to prove it but just show me some trust
And I won’t ever abuse it or knock it but look a little deeper in your pocket
And I’ll give back your heart in exchange for your wallet
Oh shit. That’s how it is? That’s how it is mutherfucker.

top

SCARY
One day I was playing in the mud when I felt an overwhelming thud
Against the back of my head and I said what was that you dirty rat
Then I was on a cape cod ferry with a lady who’s imaginary
And her name ain’t jane or joan or jerry, swear on my dead cat her name was scary
Scary Scary

She said yep that’s my name and I said oh dear what a shame
What are your parents evil misanthropes who use you as a pissing post
She said no dude the names my own, I came up with it 2 weeks ago
And its brought nothing but luck you see, cause angry fucks stay away from me
Scary, an intelligent lady

She told me she watched dawson’s creek and I said well so do I you freak
And we both agreed it would be a big mistake to replace james van der beek
But the ferry was a shakin’ and my belly felt like an earthquake and
I knew trouble was a comin so I picked a tune and I started hummin
Oh shit

I threw up on her lap and she said baby that’s okay
Because you’re just about the sweetest thing that I’ve encountered in my travels
And I;ve had many travels, just to name a few places I’ve been to
There’s kahsakhstan, and kathmandu and Tennessee and Timbuktu
And considering all the up I threw on scary’s lap I somehow knew
That scary was the only girl for me, or at least I hoped so
So I crossed my fingers, and now I’m going to whistle

When the ferry ride was finished I politely asked for all her digits
And she said you should come on by and I’ll bake you a cherry pie
So I walked up to her house and I played one chord over and over again
And sang a song entitled baby you’re the bomb
And it went just like this
Baby baby you’re the bomb

And just like that she blew up in my face but it was great
Because she tasted just like chocolate cake then transformed into her former state
Yeah yeah yeah

Well scary’s house was pretty and she had a kitty she called coach smitty
Who threw up on my lap and I said holy cow this is a sign
She said well come right out with it, if you really think that I’m the shit
Then just tell me so and we can go eat a gallon of gelato
Whoa this girl is really phat with a ph and I am hoping that this scary is the girl for me
NECESSARILY

Scary, scary, SCARY who cares that she’s imaginary
Scary, scary, She has no problem with eating dairy
And doesn’t mind that I am hairy.
Scary

She said that I should stay a while and I accepted with a smile
then we broke out all her smurf toys and pretended we were them
then we hugged and kissed and reminisced about the time I threw up on her lap
then we took a nap together and slept forever and ever

top

YELLOW PAGES
She’s looking around for something better to do
She blames me for the weather and it’s probably true
But this dark cloud ain’t born inside my brain

She steps on the ground that is under my heart
Then she weeps for the sound but could not even start
To reflect on the damage she’s done to us both, there she goes

I had to cry to make her stay
We’d been through stages, through yellow pages, I had to cry

She hangs up the phone in an effort to please
All the people who would rather see me down on my knees
And if I had that power I’d use it too

Then she hurdles my love just like a rabbit in spring
Hopping away on a midsummer fling
And every time I hold my breath there she goes

I had to lie to get my way
We’d been through stages, through yellow pages
I had to lie to get my way
We’d been through stages, virtual ages
I had to lie to go in for the kill—these useless feelings keep me reeling still

She loses her shit to show me that she still cares
Now I’m picking up her pieces from under the stairs
And just as I’m done cleaning there she goes

I had to laugh when she went away
We’d been through stages, virtual ages
I had to laugh when she went away
We’ve been through stages, through yellow pages
I had to laugh to keep from feeling ill, yeah these useless feelings crush my little will

And still I had to laugh when she went away in the aftermath I’ll get my way
And it’s okay so long as things end fine
I had to cry to make her stay, where is your pride is what she’ll say
And it’s okay so long as things end fine
I have to say just one last time what’s hers is hers what’s mine is hers
And it’s okay so long as things end fine, And it’s okay so long as things end fine
And it’s okay so long as things end fine, And it’s okay so long

top

LOVER
My lover lay in leaves and lingers sleepily awakening an instinct buried deep in me
And there are days when I would like to brush them away
But she’s got her own wind that she can use to reveal the day
Oh lover, oh lover

My lover sits in shadows sipping frigid tea opening a window in the pit of me
And when I speak some times I just convey a blur
But the when time in my life that I pray, I pray for her
Oh lover, oh lover, oh lover

Take some time to tell me everything that’s on your mind
Don’t be afraid of what I’ll find
You will make mistakes, babe you know I’ll understand
You are just a woman I am just a man, a man

My lover takes a breath and breathes life into me
a thousand miles away and I can barely see
But I’ve held her breath inside me for about a year
And I choke some times but in these rhymes I’m without a fear
Oh lover oh lover, oh lover

Let me take some time to tell you everything that’s on my mind
I’m not afraid of what you’ll find
I will make mistakes babe I know you’ll understand
You are just a woman, I am just a man, amen

top

TICKLE MY BEARD
Tickle my beard big blue eyes you gotta whole
Lotta nerve sitting over there with someone else’s fingers in your hair
Tickle my beard big blue eyes you gotta whole
Lotta nerve and it occurred to me that every single word
I might say to you was only true albeit thoroughly absurd
And no I cannot be deterred, no one informed me of the rules
Tickle my beard big blue eyes, I’m a fool

I saw a fine young lady on the Bowery, she looked at me I looked at her we looked away
And if you tell me she’s a keeper I’ll be sad I didn’t meet her but until then
It’s gonna have to wait until another day

The day came sooner than I thought it would and when it did
I couldn’t think I couldn’t speak, but with my desires naked it was impossible to fake it
She made it simple for me and said buy me a drink, buy me a drink

Tickle my beard big blue eyes you gotta whole Lotta nerve, sitting over there
with someone else’s fingers in your hair, you gotta lotta nerve

Smoking with my boys down at Cooper Square and something dangerous came into view
I knew I had to introduce her but I didn’t wanna lose her and she said baby calm down
These are my boys too These are my boys too

A strong wind blew right over me, it felt familiar but baby it was new
You see it used to leave me broken but now it’s just zozen
I know you call it love but I call it you, I call it you

Tickle my beard big blue eyes you gotta whole
Lotta nerve sitting over there with someone else’s fingers in your hair
You gotta lotta nerve and it occurred to me that every single word
I might say to you was only true albeit thoroughly absurd
And no I cannot be deterred, no one informed me of the rules
Tickle my beard big blue eyes, I’m a fool

top

CHOW FOR THOUGHT
It all began back in Jersey, eight years old, thirty pounds overweight and nerdy
Or so I’m told, plus I was flirty and cussed just like a dirty bird
I must of learned to converse in the worst way just cause I was thirsty
For attention and guess what I got it, it was called in-school detention
That was where I started to mention to my superiors
That I felt bombarded and delirious from all these teachers saying I must be retarded
They discarded my complaints so I farted in their face then I darted out the door
Like po-po was on my back, dropped some ho-ho’s like santa fell out my knapsack
Ran into Flo-jo who was off the Amtrak out of Atlanta, she was walking Todo
Who just od’d on Mylanta and a whole bottle of oxycodone she said hey singa,
Where’s the school nurse, I said I don’t know, she said oh no, my little doggy
Lost his mojo and his biscuits are very soggy cause I dropped ‘em all in So-Co
Now he’s acting really groggy and I think he needs some more no-doze
Yo, what’re you loco. That’s like walking into Mr. Miaygi’s dojo with a photo of Tojo
And no kimono, that shit’s a no-no, and if you don’t know you’ll be walking to Oz solo
Chow for thought

But then 10 years passed, passed out cause I was assed out, smoked a bag a grass out
On my dad’s couch, when he dashed in I thought he would lash out a smash a fat
Glass of stout over my mouth, but he just sat down, cracked a brau, opened his mouth
Grabbed a rainbow trout and started to chow. Now the moment wasn’t Kodak
But he was off my bozak so I offered him a toke and he said drug’s are so wack
Dad I don’t run with cats who smoke crack snort coke or shoot heron or blokes who be disrespecting women, setting their hair on fire I just burn with this desire I yearn
For simple schemes like wet dreams of Charlise Theron, waiting in the wings of sold out
Theater for my show, skills to open for the Meters and close for Mighty Mos
Yeah I boast about my verbals, not the herbals I toast that shit is shameless,
Like a gerbil getting close to this anus, heinous. Need I explain this, c’mon man
Take an Ativan, show you I’m like pearl jam cause you can’t find a better man
Guess I’m the opposite of Redman cause I’m a grown man doing little boy shit
Rolling in my joy whip. But it’s a caravan cause I still ain’t learned to drive stick
Take trips to Cairo laying with your bitch, yeah it’s a shout out to Biggy but not to
P Diddy, cause I much prefer gritty to prissy pretty and jiggy
I much prefer gritty to prissy pretty and jiggy
I much prefer gritty, ya wit me?
Chow for thought

Now I knew a woman who was mad sneaky her name was Vasiliki
Shit sounded freaky so she shortened it to Vicki, tried to take all my money
My pockets are leaky that shit ain’t funny, she’s type sneaky, put a mickey in my tzaziki
Now I’m kinda woozy cause this boojy floozy threw me for a doozy but she
Doesn’t even know how to abuse me cause I drift back into fantasies with me and Charlice. We were chilling in my piece, puffin on a piece, she started something on my
Piece, and the shit was kinda fun but I said excuse me Ms. Theron, but please
I gotta run, she tried to make an advance but I decided not to bag her
Because golf ain’t my game I’m really much more of a slacker or a slightly toasted cracker, but I surely ain’t a swinger, even sometimes I still ask my friends to
Pull my finger, but she said Sing Singa, you got the keys to my Beema,
And you ain’t cheating for real, you just a dreamer, I said no, Charlise baby
See my dreams come true, and I already got a dope lady and she ain’t you
Chow for thought

top

NOW TAKE THIS
Down goes the elevator pressure quickening
I got myself in to this mess. I’ll get myself out somehow
If I manage to give away my last cigarette to some unsuspecting fool
Who suspects that he’ll look cool, then I’ll be a rockstar

Up goes the escalator, I’m diminishing
Four months I’ve only run on stress and even now it’s fading
Just fumes of a memory I’d rather forget
And I’m thankful to you for taking it

Now take this bitter kiss full of blood sweat tears and piss
I’ve got an attitude, almost as bad as you
Now take this

What justice could be greater for the sad procrastinator
Move now, no, move later down. Down!
Who is that slimy traitor, just another player hater
Down goes the elevator down. Down. Down.

Down goes the elevator let’s go drinking
This afternoon is gone besides I never cared for daylight
I managed to give away my last cigarette to some unsuspecting fool
Who suspected he’d look cool, now he’s a rockstar

Now take this bitter kiss full of blood sweat tears and piss
I’ve got an attitude, almost as bad as you, now I’m feeling sad and blue
It’s what I had to do. Do do do do do do…

top

AS LONG AS GRASS GROWS AND WATER RUNS
I live in a land where a businessman controls all the medicine. His hands around my throat so I guess I’d better vote,
And since I don’t have a boat only choice sink or float, but I’d really rather swim down a river that’ll probably poison my liver
So I’ll just run and hide, turn on the television upstairs inside, that was sure exciting now I’ll go for a bike ride
And clear my head for a bit but I’d better not get hit by a car, face in the tar with a scar and Big Brother swears that I’ll be covered, but I’ll still be in the hands of a businessman with the medicine, yeah with the medicine. Where’s all the medicine?

I live in a land where a democratic man is the same is a republican. Both lookin’ out for us so I shouldn’t make a fuss
Though I must say I trust myself, no one else, and I really gotta cry when I watch to guys see eye to eye on all that matters
But find a way to disagree like a couple pedigrees, wasting all their time on a poorly written rhyme and it’s a crime
And you and I know who’s to blame but I’m still ashamed to be an American, when a democratic man and a republican
Can’t agree to spend some time on the humans, spend some time on the humans. Spend some time on us humans….

I live in a land where a native man is hardly a citizen, he was here first but it seems that he was cursed, cuz he’s just about the last,
Just a figment of our past, and no one asked, they just took and took and took and took and took, and took some more
I gotta ask what for? I’m kinda sore cuz I know that we’re the ones “as long as grass grows and water runs”
Who will be living and ruling and lying, betraying and staying in a land where a native man is hardly a citizen,
He’s barely a citizen. He’s not even a citizen…

top

A LITTLE LAMB
I met a little lamb on a walk through the park one day. She said “Why ya so sad?”
I said “I’m doing fine, how did you know that anyway.” She just stood there and laughed.
I walked on and the little lamb stayed right next to me. She said “why are you alone?”
I said “Don’t worry. That’s the way I want it to be.” And I headed on home.

And I thought about the times when I was scared to be alone
And I knew that I was strong and I could heal on my own.
And I was sure that I didn’t need a little lamb to take me home

I walked on and the little lamb stared right at my eyes. She said, “Oh, you’re just afraid.”
I said, “No, I’m not. Afraid of what? Is this just to get a rise?” She said, “You wanted her to stay.”
Snuggled next to me, the little lamb saw that I felt low. She said, “So you fell for your best friend.”
I said, “What can I do? It’s almost time she has to go.” She said, “It doesn’t have to end.”

And I thought about the times when I was scared to lose a friend
And I knew that I was lost and I wanted help to mend
And I was sure that I needed a little lamb to make sure I would not end

The little lamb had a little smile on our little walk that day. She said, “What’s that in your eye?”
I said “It’s just a tear ‘cuz I’m so content. Don’t you know that that’s my way?” She said, “I don’t ever cry.”
Then she kissed me goodbye.

top

COMPREHEND
Now since everybody wants to be an MC lately, who's to say who's not an MC baby, 'cause if I really wanted to you know that I could do it and I'll prove it that I groove it, the truth is that you blew it. You never believed me that I was a contender, cause of the color of my skin or cause I never blended with all of your trends. I might sound kinda bitter, cause I am. But not to offend all of the players and the g's, braggin about smoking out trees and making cheese, and all about their so-called clout, you sauerkraut’s pretty please just shut your mouth, no doubt, that's not my steez. 'Cause rap is a thing of beauty created in the ghetto not about bitches with booties shaking titties in their videos. Not to mention all the tramps that yap about the finance 'cause they don't have enough romance or nearly enough substance, to appeal to a man who could give her something that she could feel, real deal, something that a crook could never steal, so when you lose your looks i guess your goose'll be cooked, and then you'll be the srub too except for the loot that you took from a man who was convinced that money would never fade. Million dollar question, who was it that got played? I guess it was both of y'all (repeat) A butthead and a chickenhead, ya heard what I said. (Repeat)
For all of you suckers who wanna pretend or want some storebought imaginary happy end, if you would think for yourself and didn't follow the trends you might just comprehend.

(chorus)
E-M-P-T-Y-V, a-k-a, EMPTYV(MTV). Get it? Empty. Also known as shallow, plastic and wack. As a matter of fact, these cats have almost mastered the lack-of-art, it was bad from the start, now it's outa control, your short attention span's apparently a shortage on soul, now these same fans who went for all your glamour and glitz will soon be looking for a new brand of camera tricks.

And the cycle just goes so when it ends who knows, when your flow is more important than your style of clothes. You know i got a funny feeling that it's gonna be a long time before an MC doesn't have to say "I write my own rhymes, My DJ makes his own beats," and it's sad but it's a feat since so many performers simply memorize and repeat. Yeah, it's pretty shitty that a nitwit will accept credit for someone else's shit when he knows he didn't write it, tries to slide through like debit, but I'm gonna, not gonna let it go if you ever try to bite it, so call me a player hater but you're the one who's frustrated, call me an instigator but you started all the fake shit, call me a verbal masturbator, but your ego's so inflated that you're trying to pop the whole wide world of hip-hop. It's gotta stop. You really wanna pretend or want some storebought imaginary happy end. If you would think for yourself and didn't steal the trends, you might just comprehend....
For all of you suckers that wanna pretend that someone else is gonna bring you a happy end, If you would think for yourself and didn’t follow your friends, you might just comprehend……

top

MELTED
(Based on a poem by Alex Alia Rich)
Must say I’ve grown a lot these last few lonely nights. Your voice wasn’t known to me and now without a doubt.
It’s worth a laugh though I can’t say that I feel right, ever since you touched my words and quickly crossed them out.
I believed I wouldn’t have a child of my own. It’s true she grew inside of me and stayed too long.
And I thought the trust that changed my mind would still be shown, but the pedestal I’ve put you on is not so strong.

(Chorus)
I dreamt about a girl last night who blew her smoke right in my eye, and tongue was false and her face was ice that melted
And that girl I dreamt about was you, you’re aching fingers wrapped in blue and my fantasy it wasn’t true, it wasn’t true…
It melted

Bitterness has come my way I knew we’d meet again. I’ve given you my heart to have and still you just ignore
And I shut my eyes to blink like many other men, but now I see that you have yet to open yours

(Chorus, repeat)
… It melted me right to my soul and I don’t think I’ll ever know a way to know myself again, a way to know my real friends
And it’s you who did this thing to me, yeah you crushed my world, my everything
I’d help you now, help you now, but I can’t help you now, help you now, no I won’t help you now, help you now
You melted

top

PRIVACY
It’s a story of two women, both so fine. They’re the same and totally different, and both were mine.
Relations gone to the wind now, blowing in time. Reminisce about the good things or ones I can find.

Anyway…

It’s a story of addiction, one so strong. Lust with no discretion, five years long.
What you don’t know can never hurt you, so it shall go on. I’ll just find another flower. I know it’s wrong.

Anyway…

(Chorus)
Privacy is liberty except when you’re alone. Dependence can be slavery but my chains are my home,
Where I can put my head to rest, broken down and stoned. Privacy ain’t liberty when you are on your own.

It’s a story of 2 lemons, both so sweet. Such intoxication, those he meets,
Will never know just what he’s thinking or how they might treat him, he knows no lovers, just something to eat.

Anyway…

(Chorus)

top

And just like that she blew up in my face but it was great
Because she tasted just like chocolate cake then transformed into her former state
Yeah yeah yeah

Well Scary’s house was pretty and she had a kitty she called coach smitty
Who threw up on my lap and I said holy cow this is a sign
She said well come right out with it, if you really think that I’m the shit
Then just tell me so and we can go eat a gallon of gelato
Whoa this girl is really phat with a ph and I am hoping that this scary is the girl for me
NECESSARILY

Scary, scary, SCARY who cares that she’s imaginary
Scary, scary, She has no problem with eating dairy
And doesn’t mind that I am hairy.
Scary (repeat several times)

top